I was saving this for my next project, but it is becoming increasingly clear to me that many of you need some serious help with your inner game, so I’ll release this earlier than expected. I’m sure that almost all of you have read about not caring, being confident, and not being affected by the opinions and reactions of others. It all sounds good on paper, but what I’ve come to find by the various students that I train and the various comments and emails I receive, no matter how many times you tell a guy to feel and be a certain way, it all means nothing. In order for him not to care, be confident, and not be affected by others, he needs something concrete; the outside action that creates the reaction inside. Here are the four pillars that create strong inner game:

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There’s not much that we can do to change our physical make-up, but there is a lot we can do to change how we dress it. The fastest way to give a guy confidence, is to give him a make-over. He may not have the face, of lets say, a runway model, but he can still have that same look. Take the ugliest guy in the world, and give him a fantastic wardrobe, and I can guarantee you that he will burst with confidence when he goes out knowing that he is stylish and looks good. I’ve taken a lot of men shopping, and the biggest change often occurs when they see themselves in their new clothes.

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Some guys are drop dead gorgeous, some guys are really poetic and romantic, some guys are really buff, and guys like myself are just really funny. If you look at any guy that has an attribute that is just very attractive to women, you will also notice that he also has a lot of confidence when he is with them. You’ll see the buff guy showing off his muscles, the funny guy cracking jokes, the artist showing off his artwork, etc. If you have an attribute that may be attractive to women, I highly suggest that you develop it even further. It’s not enough to tell a guy that women “want him”. Said guy must really have an attribute that women want and find attractive. There are three general categories that drive women crazy: Handsome men (buff, beautiful, or tall), Creative men (artists, poets, and funny boys), and Popular men (athletes, leaders, and organizers). A guy who develops within one of those categories will be confident with women.

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Passionate men are also confident men. You will often find that men who lack confidence also lack passion for something. Confidence stems from knowing that you are good at something. A guy with no confidence is also a guy that doesn’t care about anything. He just floats around with no passion for anything. He doesn’t seek to be great at anything, and is mediocre at everything that he does. Find your passion and you will find your confidence.

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Chances are, a guy that has an attractive attribute to women, has a good look for himself, and is passionate about something, will start to develop relationships with many women due to the sheer amount of confidence and self-assuredness that he has about himself. This guy will always feel that he has options. And when a guy has options he eliminates neediness, he stops caring about what women think of him, and he is unaffected by their reactions. This is how you develop true inner game. If you just sit around reading about not caring etc, you are building fake confidence. If you are pretending that women want you, you are building fake confidence. If you are walking around approaching a million women and humiliating yourself, you are building fake confidence. The only way to get a positive reaction on the inside is by taking positive action on the outside. You simply can’t fake it.

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